The chewing has spread to school. His teacher emailed to tell me that he has begun to chew on clothes at school. His teacher and resource teacher want to know if I would let them put a pencil topper for C to chew on while he is at school.
I hate that I can’t go to school to fix it like I try to fix things at home. At home, we have our choose chews bin that has worked pretty well so far. C understands that they are not snacks or snack replacements, they are for when he really needs to chew it out. And after he chews, we talk about why he felt like he needed it. Sometimes, it is because he was getting frustrated, sometimes bored, sometimes he just felt like he needed to. It is okay for there not to be a reason every time. Sometimes chewing just happens.
My concern at school is that no one will help him reflect or acknowledge his chewing. That he will have this thing that he can chew anytime he wants and become dependent on it. That my son, who already has difficulty fielding the social navigation, will be teased or looked down on by his peers for needing to chew on things.
We work so hard to help him, to do regular things with other kids, to be the best kid he can be. Am I wrong to not want him to have a plastic thing in his mouth to just chew on constantly at school? Am I wrong to not want to listen to his school OT- who told me previously that she couldn’t really help him with his handwriting at school because you could read his handwriting, never mind the fact that he clutched his pencil like one would a steak knife- because I think it is weird for someone to offer up an opinion on my son when she has not even evaluated him in person about his chewing?
I understand that chewing the plastic chew helpers work for some kids. Some kids do need to have that on a regular basis and I wouldn’t dream of denying that right to them. My son though, who is in a Gen Ed class among his peers, who stops chewing when reminded, who acknowledges a need to chew by asking for something, I just don’t know if I want him to have access to something you leave on the end of a pencil and keep at your desk all day long. I worry that he wouldn’t stop. Like if I didn’t put a timer for his iPad turn, he would just keep going without realizing how long he had been doing it.
I don’t know what the answer is. At the end of all my writing I am no closer to finding an answer. I’ll talk with our regular, non-school OT about it and maybe she can help me find clarity. If anybody has an idea, please share. I feel like my head just keeps spinning around and around.
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I don’t know. What’s in those pencil toppers?
They are plastic and safe to chew. They don’t have anything in them that would be harmful and are very tough. I have seen them and used them with a student I used to work with. There isn’t anything wrong with the pencil toppers, I just am not sure if they are right for C.
Have you spoken to his teacher about her maybe getting involved? Like if she notices him having a difficult time and chewing, is she open to addressing the causes with him and talking it out? Or could you give him a school choose chews bin that is kept in the nurses office or ot’s office where he can go get his necessary fix if he acknowledges his need by going to retrieve a chew and has a discussion about it with an authority figure (like the nurse or ot)? I’m sure it’s hard with him being mainstreamed to get the school to cooperate with the level of care he needs without seeming like they are making allowances for him but that doesn’t seem like an unreasonable request. Does he have a counselor at school that he is comfortable with? Love your blog btw, my son is two and just starting the evaluations and therapies and its such a relief to read about how well Charlie does. The beginning is so scary, so thank you for being so open.
Thank you for reading and sharing!
I have talked to his teacher at length about chewing and other things that come up. They all, we all, want what is best for C. I worry that sending along choose chews to school and letting him go somewhere else to munch out would be too distracting for him and the class. Ideally, something would be best for classroom usage and something that she could help gently moderate the usage of.
We are working together to figure it out- our first trial is a combo of verbal and written reminders, a social story on chewing, fidgits for use during transitions, and me remembering to have him wear short sleeves only to remove the temptation of chewing on his long sleeves.
Writing about my struggles as a parent of a child on the spectrum helps me evaluate what I have done, it helps me figure out if I should have done something different, it helps me take pride and ownership of the decisions I have made and acknowledge those I should have made, it helps me feel like I am making a difference in a small way. I appreciate you reading my thoughts and sharing your feedback as well.
Yea, I didn’t think about it distracting him or interupting the flow of the class. It’s a difficult position and a fine line to walk between being an enabler and giving your child what they need. I’m only just beginning to understand that. For me, my son loves the iPad and it helps him tremendously but it’s a fine line between letting it help him communicate (he doesn’t speak) and condoning his non-verbal behavior. It’s tough to know when to draw the line and when to make allowances. I can’t wait to see what you come up with for C and how he responds to it. He’s lucky to have such an awesome support system!